At the most recent International Association of Play Therapists Conference in California, Ana Liza Cisneros-Howard, MSW, LCSW, a therapist I worked with at The Center for Creativity and Healing, had a chance to interact with leaders in the world of play therapy who are sharing some pretty important information--not just for play therapists, but for parents and families, in general. I sat down with Ana to get the low-down on her conference discoveries. After a long discussion with her, I condensed it to what I think are the most important highlights.

Below are the top 5 tips for parents that can be used right now to better your relationship with your child, and help your child be more happy and successful:

1) Violent images have a clear effect on the brain development of children, and their exposure needs to be monitored carefully. The most recent studies on brain development show that by age 4, the brain is 90% organized, so that children who are exposed to violence at an early age have brains that are organized differently than others. By age 18, the average American child witnessed 200,000 acts of violence, 16,000 murders, and watched cartoons with 20-25 acts of violence per hour. Nearly 75% of violent scenes on TV depict no immediate consequence to the perpetrator for the violence.

•What to do? Be aware of what and how much your children, of all ages, are watching or exposed to (not just on TV, but in video games, on YouTube, and sometimes on social media). If you see violent images with them, discuss the consequences of such actions in the real world. Above all, set limits.

2) Know that while sex talk and images are often touchy subjects for parents, kids are more highly exposed and at risk than ever. Texting turns to sexting, pornography is more easily available, the media is saturated with sexual imagery, and adolescents are not readily equipped to deal with this on their own. Unwanted exposure to sexual material happens to 1 in 3 youths. American children begin consuming hardcore pornography at an average age of 11, and four out of five 16 year-olds regularly access pornography online. To make matters more upsetting for parents, 80% of unwanted exposure to pornography happens in the home. Sexting is considered criminal behavior in many states. Not only is this an emotional and developmental concern, but some kids are getting into trouble with the law for sexting without realizing they are committing a crime. In many states, being caught with a nude picture on your phone or sending nude pictures can result in child pornography charges.

•What to do? Talk directly about it with your kids, keep the lines of communication open, set limits, and educate your child about the permanence of those images and the consequences for these behaviors.

3) Not only is play therapy effective in the therapist’s office, it’s one of the best ways to build a relationship with your child. While “play therapy” is generally considered to be for younger children, this tip can be applied to all ages. Playing with and interacting in a meaningful way with your child fosters creativity, self-direction, responsibility, self-esteem, and self-control.

•What to do? Take some time, pay attention, and play with your child. If they’re older, engage in an activity with them that they choose and enjoy. Enjoy along with them, and don’t worry about doing it right as much as simply being present with your child.

4) Parents aren’t perfect, either, and it’s important to be real with your child. Often times, when parents make a mistake in some parenting decision or action, they don’t recognize the opportunity this provides. Researchers say it’s more about what you do AFTER you make the mistake than the mistake that you made, in most cases.

•What to do? Admit mistakes, apologize, and show your child that you care. This shows them how to restore relationships, an incredibly important real-world skill. Plus, you as the parent see, too, that you can repair things with your child, and that you’re not a bad parent because you made a mistake.

5) Research is leading therapists to approach treatment from a more holistic perspective, which can help you understand and parent your child. Rather than viewing children as having problems or behaviors that need to be addressed, research continues to lead the professionals who help children to look at the whole child: considering brain development and genetics; family system and relationships; thoughts, feelings and behaviors; and nutrition and overall health.

•What to do? Help your child to be happier and more successful with a holistic approach that helps her find and experience balance. You can be a role model for this, too, by paying attention to your own physical and mental health. Show your child the importance of healthy boundaries, emotion regulation, relaxation, acceptance, movement, nutrition, unplugging from media, having fun, and brain stimulation--by taking care of yourself in these ways, too.